Charity Wedding

Update on Among the Iranians:
On Saturday 5 December I received the complete, designed document of Among the Iranians and I spent the best part of last week checking the proofs and compiling a list of corrections. Last Saturday the next major task began: compiling the index, and then both corrections and index must be returned to Boston by Monday 21 December.

Last Tuesday my daughter’s high school organised a charity wedding, aiming to gather enough things for the jahâz (dowry) of five needy young women about to marry. The headteacher liaised with a woman from Mashhad (a city in north-east Iran) who co-ordinated the charity scheme under which needy young women about to marry were selected to visit the school. The school asked the students’ mothers for contributions in cash and kind for the dinner and refreshments (fruit, cream cakes), ordered wedding dresses for the brides and also welcomed practical help in making up and hairdressing the brides on the day. All students, their mothers, relatives and other female guests were also invited to contribute cash or presents..
When I visited the school the day before the wedding, a pile of wedding presents had already formed in the staffroom: carpets, crockery and cutlery, electrical goods, blankets, tea sets, towel bales, prayer mats, clothes, lengths of fabric.
On the evening, girls were already singing and dancing when we arrived at the school’s assembly hall. The brides then came in among cheers and ululations and joined the dancing too. The merriment continued for the next two hours until the guests were asked to go downstairs for dinner. .
Dinner was cooked on the school premises and laid out buffet-style on a long table in the school foyer: chicken in red sauce, rice with barberries, potato salad, lettuce salad, drinking yogurt and soft drinks.

On the same night a van would transport the gifts and cash donations to Mashhad, where they would be distributed among the brides. This was the first time I went to a charity wedding but, as I understand, charity weddings are usual in Iran. In Iranian culture, since marriage is a highly desirable state, it is expected that everyone will marry, sooner or later. According to custom, the responsibility of providing accommodation rests with the young man, but the provision of furniture, carpets and all life essentials lies with the bride. In the case of needy families for whom it may be hard to buy even the necessaries, charitable people co-ordinate the collections of cash and dowry items. Those who can help, welcome the opportunity to help others in order to please God. (For more on the marriage process, wedding celebrations and more, see Among the Iranians, chapter 8)